Imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen to you. 

Do you have it in your mind? 

Now, know that this hypothetical nightmare became reality for Macy and Matt Collins in the darkness of night on March 3rd, 2020 when they lost their child Hattie Jo in the devastating tornado that ravaged the western edge of Cookeville. 

“Nothing prepares you for something like that,” Matt stated. “Obviously, that’s a cliche, but it’s incredibly true. You’re just not ready for that, you know? And, not only did we lose Hattie, we also literally lost every physical possession that we own or that we owned. And so we had to restart our life totally.”

As the couple worked to piece together some semblance of wellness and hope following the loss, they turned to family and their community for safe spaces and healing.

Matt reflected, “We had support from our community here in Cookeville, but we weren’t here because we left to live with our family for four months in Mount Juliet. So we weren’t even in Cookeville for a long time after we left the hospital. We felt support from our people that would come visit us, or that we would speak with, but we moved in with Macy’s parents, and her sister and my brother-in-law, they moved in with us too. We lived for a while with Macy’s mom and dad and Macy’s sister and her husband because the physical condition we were in made it impossible to do certain things for ourselves and they were a tremendous blessing just to physically help us get around the house, or to get what we needed done, done. And so we were able to be in a place where we were not alone. We were never alone.”

Once physically well enough to live on their own, the couple made the difficult decision to return to Cookeville during the height of the pandemic. On this choice and the realizations that came during this time of transition, Matt stated, “When we came back to Cookeville, it was in the middle of COVID in 2020. So, it was a different type of experience, but we felt so supported and loved by our people who were here in Cookeville. We had a real fondness for Cookeville. I guess, in some ways, it would make sense had we never come back, just because we don’t have any family here, it’s just us, and we lost our daughter here. But, you know in a lot of ways in the months following the storm, Cookeville endeared itself to us even more. The people were so good and so kind, and have continued to be. Our community was really important. I hate to think about losing a child in the way that we did, especially in the way that we did with such a public loss, without having people around us who loved us so well. As we reflected back on our experience in the immediate aftermath of loss, we kind of put two things together. One was we had a lot of family and a lot of friends who loved us and who were on our team, and the other thing that was very clear to us was, in the midst of losing Hattie as publicly as we did, we never interacted with an organization that helps families who lost kids. Not a single time now.”

The lack of organizational assistance the Collins’ received sparked an idea that would eventually grow into The Magnolia Foundation, a nonprofit designed to help grieving families transition into the new reality facing them in the wake of loss. 

“We didn’t sit there in March of 2020, and wonder, ‘Where’s the next nonprofit?’ But, a couple of years removed, we reflected on the fact that while we had a ton of support from our family and from our friends in town, there wasn’t an organization that stepped into our lives and said, ‘We want to help you out, and here’s how we can do it.’” Matt continued, “We thought, what about the person who loses their child in total silence? The one that nobody knows about? When it’s not on national news, it’s not the center of the worst disaster in the town’s history? What we came to find after doing some exploring was there’s just not a lot out there for those families like this and that was a huge part of the birthing process of Magnolia.”

Sadly, the foundation and its work are deeply necessary. To date, in 2024 alone, the team at Magnolia has given access to their services to more than 125 families processing the loss of a child. By working with Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital, East Tennessee Children’s Hospital, Erlanger Children’s Hospital, Centennial Children’s Hospital, and individually referred families, the Magnolia Foundation is recharting the trajectory of healing across the state, region, and country. 

By taking a three-fold, practical approach, the foundation is stepping in the gaps for families lost in the chaos of sorrow. 

“First, we want to help with funeral expenses. Very few people are prepared and equipped to bury their child financially and nobody’s prepared and equipped to do it emotionally. You’re just not. It’s an out-of-order death. Nobody should have to experience it. The vast majority of people are not in a place where they can pull out a lot of money in that circumstance. And so one of our main objectives in the immediate aftermath of loss is to help with financial aid for parents who are having to bury their child. And so we help with funeral expenses including the funeral, burial or cremation, and a headstone.” Matt continued, “The second thing that we do is we help with counseling with licensed professional counselors. We connect families with counseling and help pay to get them started down that road. And, that’s an offer that we tell families stands. They don’t have to go immediately after loss. They can go to counseling whenever they want to. It might be a month, it might be a year before they decide they’re ready to go, but we will help them get started going to counseling and facilitating that process as a part of their grieving, allowing people to go and get some help to learn how to grieve well. Everybody grieves, but you can grieve well, and there is a way to grieve well.” He concluded, “The third thing we offer is something we call commemorative care. This is just a way for us to connect with families in the days, months, and years following loss. So there are unique days in every family’s life who lose a child that come around every single year. It’s not that these days are more important than others, but they certainly have a different kind of weight than most others do, such as a child’s birthday, a child’s date of loss, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, and major milestone holidays. We just try to connect with the family on those days after loss. We mail them something to put in their hands to help them honor or commemorate their child. We want to honor their child, but also we want those families to know that they have not been forgotten. There is somebody out there on their child’s birthday that remembers it’s their child’s birthday. There’s somebody out there on the date of loss that remembers you lost your child on this day. And that is so powerful, the feeling of being remembered is incredibly powerful.”

This was honestly the most challenging piece I’ve written in my career.

The pain this beautiful couple experienced will never leave them, and we at Cookeville Lifestyle hope this article tells their story and that of The Magnolia Foundation with grace and empathy. 

Thank you, Macy and Matt for your vulnerability and for using your influence to heal those hurting just like you. 

To continue their work, The Magnolia Foundation needs financial support. To give, visit https://www.themagnoliafoundation.com/ today. 

– written by Andrew Buckner, photos by Abby Weeden